Thursday, November 18, 2010

A Mild Dose

I had a thought today that i will share with the internet for the sake of the wonderful institution of marriage.

Marriage gets a bad rap constantly from everybody including me (but most especially married people) and while smoking a cigarette after playing video games for 12 hours I was pretty tired and having acid flashbacks that could rock John Lennon's world into the scattered fragments of my dolphin statue.  I was thinking about a friend who had changed his name and, more importantly, how much bullshit the name change involved.  You have to get a new social security number and alert anyone you have any bills with to change your name and the same with any legal documents.  I had given consideration to this and looked around my yard, "wow, my mother had to change her name twice, and change the name on her deed with an ex-husband (aka father) making everything about the old house hundreds of times more complicated. 

If a man marries a woman and has her change her name, she will have had to put up with bullshit immediately.  While you wipe the crusted cum off the tip of your dick with a little pee in the bathroom, your new wife is at the social security office and changing her name.  She had to change her name just to conform to a failing traditional value which leaves the woman a little bitter having only gained a loud, drinking, farting and mostly impotent walking dildo, while he had to go through little effort and gains a loud and especially irritating sloppy, wet, deep, cavernous wet hole. 

The man could change his name to the woman's last name however this is so emasculating that you should just start referring to her as "Lady Bobbett".

You could keep your separate names.  This is just as good accept that the children produced out of this (unless you are gay, in which case who cares about your marriage.  Remember that marriage is a religious institution and considers you an abomination.) will have to always wonder why their names are so horribly long with hyphens. The parties involved will not get the feeling that they have sufficiently incorporated themselves into this new entity or "Family".


Change both of your last names to something that would fit your new new selves.  Everybody knows that once you get married your social life almost immediately dies, so what better way to solidify your marriage and spruce up the ole' carbon footprint with a creative new name!  You and your partner or partners (in a perfect world) get the chance to come together and create something truly individual giving you a bond that will be a little harder to shake off than your standard drunken blackout Vegas marriage. 

Think about it...

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


Well I have spent quite a lot of time overseas begging for money doing hard drugs, hitch hiking, partying and getting arrested however I have yet to learn how to ask "Where is the toilet" in French.  This language is fairly complicated because of the strange way they spell words and use their alphabet.  It is similar to English in many ways such as the unpredictable mannerisms they use.

What the hell am I saying, as though I am a linguist!  I speak English and German, both not as well as I ought to.  back to the topic, Toothpicks!  Are you like me?  Do you need a constant supply of toothpicks on hand 24-7?  Its not a replacement for smoking since you will often find me chewing on a toothpick only to light up literally seconds later twirling both around each other in my mouth.  That just sounds gay doesn't it?  Well this is pretty gay

I knew you would like some GAGA in your face all confusing and shit.  When I first heard about this bitch I thought she was a dude dressed as a chick which is the rumor that happened shortly before everyone in my immediate social network began to notice her to.  What a way to get attention eh!  Make em all think your a dude secretly.  Maybe I should become a chick who is super famous to reveal later on that I am actually RuPaul!  I will let you stew on that.  All of your chickens are belong to me!


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The beginning of the end

Good day to you sir or ma'am,

     It is great to see you have found me in my humble abode.  This vast and empty pitted landscape filled with all sorts of strange lights and sounds, Trolls and just plain ole assholes.  Nothing compares to the rush of seeing the people get their minds fucked by a lurking nerd with far too much time on his hands and a lot of hurt in his butt.  This ride has thrills and chills and people think that its real, this is the power of your minds.
     Imagine what you could be doing now, walking the dog, washing the cat, painting the chickens, or even mowing the roof.  BUT YOUR NOT!  Out there at this very moment are hundreds of people, yes, literally hundreds, partaking in activities that are entirely pointless and all together too stressful.  Could you imagine back in the good ole days when a man got bored he would get pissed and beat his ole lady?  Neither can I, which is why I am glad you have overcome your baser instincts and have chosen to follow me, your humble host/mod/writer/schizophrenic-alcoholic comrade, but you can call me...


does this font look good to you?  How about this one?  When was the last time a lonely and sincerely ugly young woman got her rocks off on the bridge of your nose?  Do you ever have any guns, boats, and/or Mexicans fun?  The strange thing here is that Im almost certain I cannot use any things that i have prev iously utilized on the internet for this site.        WILL You EVER ReAD thIS!!!!  

You know you want it.
Yours without any serious commitment,