Thursday, November 18, 2010

A Mild Dose

I had a thought today that i will share with the internet for the sake of the wonderful institution of marriage.

Marriage gets a bad rap constantly from everybody including me (but most especially married people) and while smoking a cigarette after playing video games for 12 hours I was pretty tired and having acid flashbacks that could rock John Lennon's world into the scattered fragments of my dolphin statue.  I was thinking about a friend who had changed his name and, more importantly, how much bullshit the name change involved.  You have to get a new social security number and alert anyone you have any bills with to change your name and the same with any legal documents.  I had given consideration to this and looked around my yard, "wow, my mother had to change her name twice, and change the name on her deed with an ex-husband (aka father) making everything about the old house hundreds of times more complicated. 

If a man marries a woman and has her change her name, she will have had to put up with bullshit immediately.  While you wipe the crusted cum off the tip of your dick with a little pee in the bathroom, your new wife is at the social security office and changing her name.  She had to change her name just to conform to a failing traditional value which leaves the woman a little bitter having only gained a loud, drinking, farting and mostly impotent walking dildo, while he had to go through little effort and gains a loud and especially irritating sloppy, wet, deep, cavernous wet hole. 

The man could change his name to the woman's last name however this is so emasculating that you should just start referring to her as "Lady Bobbett".

You could keep your separate names.  This is just as good accept that the children produced out of this (unless you are gay, in which case who cares about your marriage.  Remember that marriage is a religious institution and considers you an abomination.) will have to always wonder why their names are so horribly long with hyphens. The parties involved will not get the feeling that they have sufficiently incorporated themselves into this new entity or "Family".


Change both of your last names to something that would fit your new new selves.  Everybody knows that once you get married your social life almost immediately dies, so what better way to solidify your marriage and spruce up the ole' carbon footprint with a creative new name!  You and your partner or partners (in a perfect world) get the chance to come together and create something truly individual giving you a bond that will be a little harder to shake off than your standard drunken blackout Vegas marriage. 

Think about it...

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